What To Serve For An Oscar-Inspired Meal?
The Oscars are this Sunday, and I’m sure you’re all asking yourself one question (after “What’s going to win Best Picture?” of course): what should I serve at my Oscar party? Well, lucky for you, I have two hobbies: cooking and making up fluff lists to avoid doing any actual work at my job. Therefore, I have decided to provide you a breakdown of what to serve for an Oscar-Inspired meal. Each dish is based on a Best Picture nominee from this year (think white cake from Django Unchained or asparagus from American Beauty), and if possible, each dish should try to compliment each other. There’s really no reason to belabor this article, so let’s just jump right into things with your Oscar-Friendly Dinner!
Like all meals, you should begin the party and greet your guests with Appetizers and Hors d’ouvres. Basically what you’re looking for is a light, tasty meal that will prepare people for the main course. You want movies that didn’t feature large meals, so as to tide people over. The easiest snack to enjoy so as to tide people over would be from Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. Not a food-heavy film, Three Billboards gives us our first meal of the day: A Bowl Of Doritos. Just as Frances McDormand munches on Doritos as she talks with the dear, so too will your guests munch on Doritos as they discuss the upcoming events. Similarly, Dunkirk isn’t a food-heavy film – most of the characters are starving to death. Therefore, for those who don’t like Doritos (present company included), we have a nice treat of Jam and Bread. It will be perfect to provide sustenance until a real meal is provided (or a German U-Boat sinks your party). And to round it out, we have The Shape of Water. The film really only has two choices (four, if you want to include a cat or a fish like some sort of monster): Key Lime Pie, which would be a solid dessert choice, or Hard Boiled Eggs, which would make a perfect appetizer. Your guests will be able to munch upon these while they create a strong bond with someone they’ve never met before. And with that, it’s time for dinner to finally be served.
Your Main Course, like Lady Bird’s Thanksgiving dinner scene, will be a nice Turkey. If possible, try to make it a Lady Bird (I hate myself). It will be the perfect comfort food, and you’ll feel like calling your mother immediately afterwards. As a solid side course, you’ll want some Scotch Eggs. I know you’ll be tired of eggs after The Shape of Water, just as Darkest Hour feels a bit old-hat after both Dunkirk and every single biopic ever made. However, if prepared correctly (just like Darkest Hour), it will taste refreshing, and have an extra zest for your dinner. Meanwhile, as a side, you’ll obviously want to emulate Phantom Thread (easily the best film meal of the year) and serve some Butter-Seared Mushrooms. Hopefully you’ll know the difference between poisonous and non-poisonous, but either way, you’ll hopefully find yourself reinvigorated and in love after eating them. Just make sure that you use butter – lord knows what fate will befall you should you use oil! And as you continue your meal, you’ll want something to drink. Luckily, The Post allows you to enjoy a glass of Lemonade, the perfect drink for you to debate Oscar contenders. Hell, you can even charge a few dollars for it, and make a steady profit!
As the meal comes to a close, and you settle in for the show, you can sit back and enjoy your final course, Dessert. Inspired by Call Me By Your Name, I think it’s only fitting that you enjoy a nice bowl of Peaches And Cream. I will not explain this joke. I will only apologize for it. I just didn’t know how I couldn’t go for it. And as you conclude, in honor of Get Out, it’s only right that you enjoy a nice Cup of Tea. It will soothe, relax – dare I say hypnotize? – you into submission as you finally enjoy the show. If you wish to double up with Phantom Thread, make the tea Lapsang – it’s excellent. And with that, you’ll be able to enjoy a succulent meal in preparation for the Oscars. Hopefully you’ll find a few fun ideas, or at least get a laugh out of the dishes listed above. In the meantime, I will see you Sunday for the awards, and I hope you’ll all be well-fed!
Appetizers and Hors d’ouvres
- Dunkirk: Jam and Bread
- The Shape of Water: Hard Boiled Eggs
- Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri: Doritos
- Darkest Hour: Scotch Eggs
- Lady Bird: Turkey
- Phantom Thread: Butter-seared mushrooms
- The Post: Lemonade
- Call Me By Your Name: Peaches and Cream
- Get Out: Cup of Tea (Lapsang)