You can always count on Sylvester Stallone to create a great character and then immediately misunderstand why audiences liked his creation. For example, Rocky was a terrific underdog story that eventually culminated in the character ending the Cold War by KO’ing a superhuman Soviet Übermensch with the help of his brother-in-law’s robot f*ckbot. The same can be said with Stallone’s Rambo series, which started as a heartbreaking tale of a broken Veterans System and eventually evolving into “John Rambo wins the Vietnam War.” And now, as Stallone reaches the golden years of his life and desires to hang up his boxing gloves and crossbows with dignity, we will see John Rambo one last time as he brings the American way all the way to enemies in (*checks notes*) Mexico. Uh oh.
It’s been several years since John Rambo, an ex-Green Beret suffering from PTSD from his service in the Vietnam War, retired from his vigilante services. He’s now ready to enjoy retirement, chilling on his farm in West Texas. However, when the Mexican Cartel kidnaps his friend’s daughter, Rambo has to come out of retirement one last time to save the girl and perhaps earn that sunset he feels he deserves.
This is…a very confusing trailer. I can’t tell how much of it is serious, how much of it is gritty, and how much of it is hilarious. I mean, it’s cool that they’re hinting at a Straw Dogs/Skyfall/Witness-esque finale where Rambo’s farm is turned into a booby-trapped wasteland for the enemy, but how am I supposed to take seriously a film where Stallone’s gritty Army Vet rides around on a horse fighting Mexican cartels single-handedly while the Lil Nas/Billy Ray Cyrus song “Old Town Road” plays? That’s so insane it’s almost an SNL bit. And that’s not to mention the fact that the above plot description is definitely going to rub some people the wrong way. Really? Is a movie about Rambo going into a neighboring country and killing a bunch of faceless, made-up cartel members the type of thing America needs right now? Who is going to want this? It’s just going to piss everyone off in the wrong ways. Did Stallone learn nothing from the time he dedicated Rambo: First Blood, Part 2 to the Afghani Mujahidin and Osama Bin Laden (no, seriously)? Whatever, I digress. It’s possible this plot is a false flag, and I’m just bitter over the abomination that was Sicario 2: Day of the Soldado. I’d rather remember this movie for the silliness of the trailer, which you can watch below. Rambo: Last Blood comes out in theaters September 20th.